When last we left our hero Kalagni was proving eir inability to make reasonable decisions and had entered into a tantric retreat while working.
Anyways, I survived. The retreat was, not surprisingly, rough and tough and emotional. To make matters worse near the end I was told to complete the retreat a week early, meaning adding in about a thousand extra mantras per day.
It was definitely intense, and I can’t wait to do the next one.
Even though I finished a week ahead of schedule (a week before solstice) I’ve been decompressing and processing the experience since then. The retreat itself was a big event, but it’s finished with a fire puja, which is a long elaborate ritual of burning offerings. I spent two hours in the snow and slight drizzle invoking gods into a fire pit, and throwing food, alcohol, flowers, a hell of a lot of melted butter, and more into a fire. It was awesome, I cried…not cause of the ritual, because I had thick viscous black smoke in my eyes for a lot of the ritual.
One thing that came up with people before, during, and after was the fact that people often say to me things like “How do you manage to make time for all these things?” or “I wish I had the extra time to spend on my practice.” Here is the thing that bothers me, so here beginneth the rant, it is very unlikely that you don’t have the time, the thing is you’re not making it a priority. Don’t blame your life, you’re choosing not to do these things in most cases. I didn’t have a casual extra three hours a day to spend in my basement calling up gods and saying mantras, and there are things that would have been more fun, and more practically productive, at least short term, that I could have been doing. The thing is I make my magickal practice a priority.
When I did the Abramelin I had a fulltime working commitment, but still managed to dedicate nearly five hours a day to the ritual. Currently I work, volunteer, and go to temple three times a week (doing stuff unrelated to the retreat, and each temple session is a three hour minimum commitment), and I still managed to set aside two to three hours a day for the retreat. I even went out of country for a few days to spend some important time with friends, and still had time to follow through with my commitments.
How? It’s nothing special, I’m not saying it as a point of pride, it’s simply a matter of priority. Cut down the time you spend on email/twitter/facebook/youtube. Don’t watch tv, drop your hobbies, stop playing games, whatever. You probably work 8-10 hours a day including travel time, sleep another 8, you spend maybe two hours a day between preparing and eating food, one hour doing chores, that’s still 3-5 hours free. And to be honest most people spend less time preparing and eating and doing chores, and most people don’t sleep as much as they should. Your day is filled with all this time, it’s just a matter of prioritizing it. Even when I was at my friend’s place I made the retreat a priority, and as much as I loved spending time with everyone there, I still would excuse myself for a few hours a day and hide in a secluded area to do the ritual.
We’ve become a culture that often treats our entertainment as a right and necessity, and our commitments as choice. It should generally be reversed. Remember when you were a kid and your parents said you could go outside and play, or watch tv, but only after your homework and chores were done? That’s how we should treat our spirituality, especially if we’re trying to do something intense, or make time for a retreat. When you come home from work, don’t hope onto the computer or watch tv, go to your altar and do your prayers and mantras for the day. Don’t settle down to knit or play video games until your commitments are done.
It’s tough, you’ll miss your hobbies (but probably not as much as you think), you’ll have to really ration your social time with friends/family, and you might have to let things slip a bit. (Apologies to my neighbours about the state of my backyard during the retreat) But if you want to take your practice seriously, you have to treat it as seriously as anything else, if not more so. It shouldn’t be this boredom activity of “oh, I have an extra twenty minutes before bed, maybe I’ll meditate and talk to my Patron,” it should be something that you’ve made time for, that’s scheduled into your life, and everything not a necessity comes after.
If you don’t make the time for your gods, why should they make the time for you?
I did really well at posting on this blog regularly for a few months, but then, as always life interfered. In fact the only reason I have time to write this post is because life is interfering with life and I’m currently on the last leg of a long bus ride –edited and two days later I arrived at temple twenty minutes early so I could hurriedly upload this via the wifi of the coffee shop a few doors down.
For those wondering about my absence (I prefer to assume people wonder, rather than forget my existence) my life is busy busy again because I got a new job, I started volunteer tutoring (the same week I started working), my temple commitments have gone up to three times a week, and I’m also currently doing a lerung “working retreat.” A working retreat, as a friend of my put it, is a Buddhist staycation.
I guess for comparison you could see it as similar to the Abramelin in its structure. It’s a retreat where I live at home, though have a room set aside for this (reusing my Abramelin prayer room), and I’m allowed to work, and to an extent I’m allowed to be social, but several hours a day are involved in tantric rituals. So excluding this weekend my schedule has been wake up, ritual, work, ritual, sleep, wake up, ritual, work, ritual, sleep. I wish I was exaggerating that, but I seriously haven’t had time to go grocery shopping, or clean, or things like that (you know, I could have bought food rather than upload this…hindsight…). But the retreat is settling down into a rhythm so hopefully that will be less of an issue in the near future.
This means though that I don’t have time to really post until the retreat is over on the Winter Solstice (it’s short but intense and densely packed), so hopefully I should start getting some posts out around the new year.
Until then, go the way of your wishes.
A popular practice in Tibetan magick is to make a substitute, which is by no stretch just a Tibetan or Buddhist practice, pretty much every culture has something similar. Though you don’t tend to see it in ceremonial magick, I suspect because of the disconnect that happened between living culture and practice. I’m going to share a variation on the Tibetan substitute, I say variation because every teacher probably has it done a little differently, and every practitioner has their own twist I’m sure. Making substitutes is one of the most common suggestions that come up in a mo dice reading. It’s used to uncross (in Western parlance), to make peace between you and a spirit you’ve offended, to misdirect magickal attacks, or to release stubborn connections.
One thing I like about Tibetan substitutes is that they’re fairly impermanent (shocking I know). I remember years ago making a doll substitute with a friend to help with some rough shit going on, and while it worked I was stuck with this little doll until I learned how to safely release it.
For making the substitute base you need flour, butter, salt, and water.
I don’t know if anyone ever actually has a recipe or proportion my advice is basically what I’ve been offered and what I tell people “mix the stuff together until you get a stiff dough that isn’t sticky.” Obviously it’s more flour than anything, butter and water are the next main ingredients, and barely any salt is needed. Make a fist-sized ball, you won’t need too much.
When you have the dough ready there are a few steps to align it with you, first make it into a ball and hold it in your non-dominant hand, then with your dominant thumb press firmly down on the dough to leave a thumbprint and a hole most of the way through the dough. The thumbprint is the first step of aligning it to you. Now that you have this cave in the dough ball you can fill it with something else to connect to you. Depending on the severity of the issue, what you’re comfortable with, and whatever considerations you have, you can either breathe into the hole (probably the “weakest” of connections), spit into it, put in some blood/semen, or work in some nail or hair clippings that were taken off just to put into this.
With all of these feel free to put more work behind it. For instance when breathing or spitting into the dough I usually very consciously breathe in slowly and let the energy I breathe in fill my body and mix with it, then from my core I breathe out slowly of my own energy. If I’m going to spit, as I breathe out I try to “filter” the energy and my breathe apart forming a ball in my mouth, which I then mix with the saliva to spit. When producing blood/semen or taking hair/nail clippings you can see your essence gathering into the appropriate spot and then leaving your body with it.
Mix the dough again, and then make a human-shape from it. This can be very loosely human, mine often look a bit like deformed starfish, but you can see the sense of arms, legs, and head.
Now you connect to the substitute. Visualize a white spot of light in your forehead (an Om if you know the Tibetan alphabet and care to be that traditional) and from that little pearl of light see a ray of light stream into the dough-person and hit the same spot leaving behind a smaller white spot. This is your physical energy and sensation. Then from your throat a red spot does the same to their throat. (It’s a red Ah if you want to be traditional) This is your energy in the sense we generally use the term in magickal circles. Then from the heart a dark blue spot to their heart. (A Hum to be traditional) This is your mental energy, or awareness.
Take a moment to reconnect all three, and then one at a time, and just see yourself pour into the substitute. Through these connection points anchor what you feed into the substitute and see it taking on more and more of your essence. Depending on why you’re making a substitute you can focus on grabbing extra connections to you and putting them onto the doughbody, that way certain people or things currently attached to you will be connected to the dough form.
You can breathe on it / into it again, name it your name and address it as such, whatever else you want, but it is essentially done.
Now depending on why you’re making it, it’s time to dispose of it. Make sure it is “sealed,” that the three points are no longer connected to you, you do not want to dispose of a dough form that is actively tied into you. You can toss it into a wild place, a cemetery, offer it to a tree, or submerge it in water.
If you’re using a substitute as a general uncrossing type procedure, then any method of disposal is fine. If you’re making amends to a local spirit, leave it somewhere that is heavily their domain. If trying to throw a specific person off track leave it between your place and theirs (if you know it) or in a cemetery.
As it’s just flour and water it will be more or less gone in a few days due to animals and weather, and hopefully whatever you’re trying to rid yourself of will be gone too.
Or What to Expect when you’re Empowering
I was asked recently about what all goes into a Buddhist initiation, and thought I would share it here. I went into my first one ignorant, and it made for some awkward moments, and I know people who take semi-advanced initiations when they’re public without knowing the system, and bite off more than they can chew. Hopefully this will help clarify things. This isn’t so much to explain the process, how it’s done, and the like, but more what you should know and consider if you’ve never had an empowerment before.
This can only be a general guideline for what you could expect. Depending on what figure you’re getting initiated into there will be different things done. Different lineages will do things differently, as will different temples, and individual teachers. There are some general things though that are most likely across the board, but lots of little nuances.
First off, what do I mean by initiation here? While there are a few things that could be initiations in Buddhism most people only think of the one in terms of Mahayana/Vajrayana Buddhism. An initiation, also known as an empowerment, a wangkur (dbang bskur དབང་བསྐུར), or an abhisheka (Sanskrit), is when a person is “introduced” to a deity. I usually colourfully refer to it as having a god shoved into my head. A lama will connect you to the deity, as my lama says he will “plant the karmic seed,” this allows you to contact them and practice their rituals. There is disagreement (as there always is, and more so in the Western spheres) as to whether or not you need an empowerment to practice, or how “deep” you can practice without one. While there is no consensus I would say it is generally wise not to practice (or attempt to practice) advanced techniques (can’t believe I have to say that, but, I do…), or Wrathful deities. The Peaceful deities (especially Chenrezig, Tara, and Medicine Buddha) are more likely to be forgiving if you do things wrong in the practice, or if you weren’t supposed to contact them at all…Wrathful, might not be so forgiving. (It is also sometimes argued in terms of mechanics, that without empowerments and training your mind/energy/body can’t handle the practice and it can be dangerous) Basically an initiation into a figure lets you work with them, otherwise they’re not something you can, or should connect with. Pre-Empowerment:
What to do beforehand?
First off, think about if you need and want this empowerment. Almost all initiations come with some form of commitment. It’s not just “here have a wealth deity,” the commitments are part of your side of the bargain. In the more Peaceful and “basic” initiations, they may be very little: a requirement to say the mantra 3,7,21 times per day, and almost always living by the Buddhist precepts. (Don’t kill, don’t steal, avoid sexual misconduct (whatever that is), don’t lie, don’t use intoxicants.) On the other hand more serious ones might include many hundreds of mantras a day, performing their ritual daily, performing monthly feast offerings, always carrying ritual tools with you, never wearing certain things again, having to say certain prayers before every meal. The thing is, most people don’t think about commitments, and they’ll collect the initiations (which as addressed before I have issue with), but not follow through with the commitments. Granted you can argue that it’s their issue, they are the ones ruining their karma (and if you believe the system breaking these commitments can be more serious than you’d expect), but part of it is just not being aware, not taking it seriously, or being disrespectful. The issues compound especially after you have many initiations, because these stack. Saying a mantra 100 times a day isn’t that bad of a requirement, but what if you have six initiations, that’s six mantras 100 times a day, and that starts to add up time wise, and that’s just mantras, which are the quickest and easiest part of daily commitments. Or twenty minutes of practice a day, not bad, what about if you have six such practices? That’s two hours, or what if you have a practice that has timed commitments, so the ritual have to be done before dawn, or at midnight, then it’s not just having the time, but making it at unusual times throughout the day.
Alright, you’ve decided to take the initiation anyways. Wear something comfortable. If you’re physically able, you’ll be required to sit (generally on a cushion on the ground) and stand several times, but you might also be required to prostrate (bow) or stand on one leg for a while. So make sure it is something you can move in. I’ve never had the issue, but I’ve seen a woman fussing with a skirt that didn’t allow her to stand in a certain pose. Also while by no means required a lot of people dress in the colour of the figure they’re getting initiated into. Vajrapani is blue, wear blue, Green Tara wear green, Dzambala wear gold/yellow. Make sure you wear something easily washed too, occasionally empowerments require you to be marked with stuff, and you don’t want to stain a nice shirt. (That one is a lesson learned the hard way, thank you very much Vajrayogini.)
Though not required, it’s good to have a mala and khatak. A khatak is a silk scarf given as an offering to the lama (and often given back), any Tibetan store has them, some temples sell them, but at very least when you’re there most people will let you borrow theirs when it is your turn. Empowerment prep:
Some temples/events have an entrance fee, usually listed as a “suggested donation,” this is separate from the dana (offering) you give to the lama later. It is traditional (and arguably a requirement) to give an offering to the lama for the initiation, and now in the West, when temples are not, and haven’t been on the same spot for centuries, and have to pay mortgages and electricity bills many will ask for a donation to get in to help run the temple.
When you arrive it is traditional to do full body prostrations to the shrine, but if you don’t feel comfortable don’t feel forced into that just because everyone else is doing it. Either when you come in, or at a time before the ritual starts you’re required to purify yourself. You’ll be given a handful of saffron water to rinse out your mouth, and then spit out. Then you’re given a second handful, this you drink, and then rub your damp hands on the crown of your head. (This isn’t always explained)
When the lama comes in it is again traditional to do the full body prostrations, again don’t feel forced to do it, but you should at least do the bow, just watch what other people do.
Generally you will have some form of preliminary prayers. Some temples provide handouts or booklets with them, other ones just expect you to know them. (My first initiation I was expected to know them, so there was a good 15 minutes at the beginning of the ritual where I’m trying to mouth something that makes it look like I knew what was going on) If you want to know what you’re to say, you could try asking beforehand, send an email, ask the organizers if they know. Chances are the main things will be a Refuge Prayer (Palden Lama dampa namla…), a Mandala Offering (Sashi pushu…), and the Vajrasattva mantra (Om Vajrasattva samaya…). You’ll probably say more than those, but I’ve found those to be the most common. Empowerment proper:
Depending on the temple/teacher, the empowerment might be the lama reading Tibetan at you (not really to you) for an hour or more, other times they’ll talk a bit about the myths of the figure, why you practice, how to practice, and in between sections they’ll read the Tibetan.
Often you’ll be blessed multiple times in the empowerment, at least three for Body, Speech, and Mind. These will often involve such things as the lama touching your head with a plate containing a ritual cake, touching their mala to you, sprinkling you with holy water or the like. Sometimes you’re anointed with an oil or coloured substance, or given something to eat or drink, but that’s less common.
When it’s all over you’ll go up to the lama one last time. You’ll be given an envelope some point to put your offering in. Place it in front of the lama and hand them your scarf, generally they’ll put the scarf over your head, to return the blessing to you, sometimes they keep it though.
As with the entrance it’s customary to prostrate when the lama leaves the room.
Most communities are pretty understanding if you don’t know a prayer, or mess something up, and they’ll explain things (usually, but not always) as you go along, these are just a few of the issues I thought people might not know or need to consider beforehand to make their first empowerment go smoothly.
What’s the matter?
I have a headmate.
It might be a tulpa.
I’m sure everyone has seen the articles going around now about the “Tulpamancers.” The TLDR version is there is a group of people who are creating mental companions that reside inside their heads. They’re making personalities, entities that are separate from their consciousness, but also somewhat a part of it. If you’re familiar with plural/multiple parlance they’re creating headmates, though as far as I’m aware, and I totally admit I’m not looking into tulpamancers, no “tulpa” ever fronts, or takes control of a person.
Now I’m not here to criticise what they’re doing or their techniques. The articles talks about the emotional/mental benefit these people are getting from their mentally constructed companions, and as I generally say about magick, it’s about getting results and whether it benefits you. So a few people mentioned that their companion helped them through their depression, good for them, depression is horrible to deal with, and if it works then I’m glad for them.
While not the same I’ve used similar techniques to separate and control aspects of my personality, for those familiar with my Egoetia work, which at this moment I can’t remember if I’ve ever talked about on this blog. (And if I haven’t blogged about it, that just goes to show you should attend the classes and conventions where I yatter about this stuff) So again, not challenging techniques or results, I don’t know enough about them to make a well-founded evaluation, but there is something I can say:
It’s not a tulpa.
What is a tulpa? Well, that’s a kind of tricky question. Tulpa is a Tibetan term, and this is where the issues majorly comes from. You have a group of people misusing a term from a religious tradition in a way that really misrepresents and misunderstands what it actually means. Even aside from issues around cultural appropriation it just seems foolish and lazy to me. Tulpa (sprul pa སྤྲུལ་པ་) can be broken down into two pieces: tul, and pa. Pa is just a suffix that terms a verb into a person (agentive particle). So for instance I perform the ritual chöd, so I’m called a chödpa, and someone who transmits a lung (rlung རླུང, in this case meaning the “energy seed” of a text to simplify it) is a lungpa. Tul means basically created, incarnated, emanated. So it really just means an emanated person or emanation.
Now it gets a bit confusing because it linked with the term Tulku (sprul sku སྤྲུལ་སྐྱ), ku (sku) meaning body, so emanated body. This term gets used in relationship to a Tibetan Lama who is recognized as a reincarnation of a specific high lama, they are an “emanated body” of that lama. The reason this gets confusing is an older term for Tulku was tulpaku, the person who has emanated their body
Back to tulpa, so emanation, that could apply to these people and their creation right? Yeah, if you want to go by dictionary translation meaning rather than how a word is used and understood within the culture. A tulpa is something used all the time in Vajrayana Buddhism, though the word is almost never used. When performing a ritual where you’re calling a deity of some sort you create a damshig sempa (dam tshig sems dpa’ དམ་ཚིག་སེམས་དཔའ) meaning Commitment Being. It is basically a visualized form of the deity first. So if you’re calling on Chenrezig, before you actually call on him you visualize him in front of you, create him with your mind, create an energetic “shell” for him, that’s a damshig sempa. That is sometimes referred to as a tulpa but not often. Once this is created then you call on the yeshe sempa (ye shes sems dpa’ ཡེ་ཤེས་སེམས་དཔའ) meaning Wisdom Being, which refers to the “real” deity. First you make a shell, and then you call them into it.
I mentioned tulpa is a term rarely used though. In fact yesterday at lunch, knowing I’d be writing this article I asked my lama what a tulpa was. His response? “A what?” When I wrote it down he recognized the word from having read it, but never really heard it discussed. (It was my lama who told me the older form of tulku was tulpaku, which I confirmed at home with a dictionary) At home I grabbed my various books and texts. Some ritual texts, some academic, some glossaries. Do you know what word I wasn’t able to find? Tulpa. I have huge textbooks used for teaching University courses on Tibetan Buddhism that cover everything you can think of, no tulpa. I know where the word’s popularity comes from (and I’ll get to that in a minute) but I decided to check my non-Buddhist texts
It shows up in almost 30 texts I could find (note: I didn’t actually check too many, I just had a sense of where they’d be if anywhere). They’re all over the place; Kenneth Grant, Donald Tyson, in books on Ceremonial magick, and books on Wicca. What do they say about tulpa? They just say it means an energy construct or thought form.
So where do we get the term? Alexandra David-Neel’s classic book “With Mystics and Magicians in Tibet.” In it she heard about the term, and stories about it, but it sounds like she’s confusing a few different things.
Nevertheless, allowing for a great deal of exaggeration and sensational addition, I could hardly deny the possibility of visualizing and animating a tulpa. Besides having had few opportunities of seeing thought-forms, my habitual incredulity led me to make experiments for myself, and my efforts were attended with some success. In order to avoid being influenced by the forms of the lamaist deities, which I saw daily around me in paintings and images, I chose for my experiment a most insignificant character: a monk, short and fat, of an innocent and jolly type.
I shut myself in tsams and proceeded to perform the prescribed concentration of thought and other rites. After a few months the phantom monk was formed. His form grew gradually fixed and life-like looking. He became a kind of guest, living in my apartment. I then broke my seclusion and started for a tour, with my servants and tents.
The monk included himself in the party. Though I lived in the open riding on horseback for miles each day, the illusion persisted. I saw the fat trapa, now and then it was not necessary for me to think of him to make him appear. The phantom performed various actions of the kind that are natural to travellers and that I had not commanded. For instance, he walked, stopped, looked around him. The illusion was mostly visual, but sometimes I felt as if a robe was lightly rubbing against me and once a hand seemed to touch my shoulder.
The features which I had imagined, when building my phantom, gradually underwent a change. The fat, chubby-cheeked fellow grew leaner, his face assumed a vaguely mocking, sly, malignant look. He became more troublesome and bold. In brief, he escaped my control.
Once, a herdsman who brought me a present of butter saw the tulpa in my tent and took it for a live lama.
I ought to have let the phenomenon follow its course, but the presence of that unwanted companion began to prove trying to my nerves; it turned into a “daynightmare.” Moreover, I was beginning to plan my journey to Lhasa and needed a quiet brain devoid of other preoccupations, so I decided to dissolve the phantom. I succeeded, but only after six months of hard struggle. My mind-creature was tenacious of life.
This is the origin of the tulpa as thoughtform in the Western sphere. In fact every reference to tulpa that you can find, traces back to this book, or is unsourced. Even the wiki article, while it includes other sources, everything that supports a tulpa as a construct traces back to this book. It also seems like a good source for at least some of the concern about thoughtforms gone wild. (Which really isn’t as sexy of a DVD as it sounds)
Now Alexandra David-Neel was an amazing woman. One of the first westerns to meet a Dalai Lama, a single female explorer who roamed Tibet (when it was illegal for foreigners to be there) and studied Buddhism with the lamas. While I don’t want to play a race card though, we have to understand that French explorer from a hundred years ago isn’t going to have the best understanding of Buddhism. So while her works are some of the most engaging and evocative accounts about Vajrayana, they also have a lot of issues, and the tulpa as a thoughtform is one of them.
Tulpas are an “energetic body” that you summon a deity into, they are not a thoughtform. You do not make a tulpa of just anything, in fact arguably you can’t, because it lacks the yeshe sempa. Visualized imaginations, and thoughtforms are something else altogether, tulpas are a very specific concept in a ritual process. They’re also, not even by extension something applicable to a personality that resides in your consciousness somewhere. So back to the tulpamancers, like I said, my issues with their technique and practice are none, but I do have problems with their terminology. We have words for things like that: constructs, egregores, thralls, thoughtforms, headmates. Hell English is a great language for building new words, or making up one. But don’t misapply a misapplication of a foreign word.
Are blue eyes going endangered? (No) But some interesting information about where/when we think blue eyes arose. (And if you don’t know why this is relevant on this blog, get back to your Apocrypha)
First mysterious holes appear in Russia and now a huge crack appears in Mexico I think it’s safe to assume this is a sign of various Old Ones shifting in their sleep. Scientists have found a way to email brainwaves. After a successful test sending “hola” and “ciao” the system was bought by a wealth prince from Nigeria who wants to help spread his fortune to the world.
This is a sadhana I was requested to write for my lama. A sadhana is a Buddhist ritual, over-simplified but true. Depending on the type of sadhana there is a set formula they follow, like any ritual tradition, and the methodology and cosmology behind them isn’t exclusively Buddhist. My lama believes that the Western Mystery Traditions are like yoga for Westerns, and that the tarot contains all the archetypes you need for spiritual realization. So what he wanted to do was to combine Tarot imagery with Buddhist sadhana structure, to use Buddhist technology with images and archetypes that are more familiar and acceptable/accessible to the average person in the Western world. So I wrote him this.
This is a basic self-generation sadhana, which in Western lingo would basically be an invocation. Normally you’d be given an empowerment by a lama, some explanation, and some training to do a ritual in a Buddhist context. In the empowerment the lama would “implant” the energy or Seed of the being into you, so that you can then call on them. Alas, most lamas don’t have High Priestess empowerments so it’s not an option. So this script serves as a visualization for generating and embodying the nature and force of the High Priestess, it might lack the “punch” of a proper sadhana due to the lack of initiation involved, but if you work with it you can build that connection on your own without the empowerment. (And from there offer it to others, which actually was discussed at one point)
One of the hardest parts in creating this was coming up with syllables for Creation, and the mantra. In Buddhist ritual every time you create something major in the visualization there is a syllable that accompanies it, from a PAM appears a lotus, from a RAM a sun disk. We didn’t want to lift those syllables, and they wouldn’t work (what tarot card has a sun disk or skull cup?) and they don’t come with mantras. They do come with their own Seed Syllable though, the Hebrew letter. So what we decided on was breaking down the letter, into all the letters needed to spell it, and rearrange them to make the syllables. (Gimel is Gimel Mem Lamed, so the syllables and mantras are different combinations of G, M, and L in this case) It’s not perfect, and I want to rework it, but it works for now. Also some of the descriptions and wording is very Buddhist, it’s hard to shake the tone, but I think it is still clear without a background in Buddhism what is meant and intended. You should know what a Gimel looks like as you’ll visualize a few of them.
My lama prefers the BOTA deck, so the image was taken from it, it’s almost the exact same as the Smith-Rider-Waite tarot. The point of this is to clear your mind, draw the High Priestess into you, abide in her mindstate, take into yourself her gifts, and with experience wield the power of her archetype when embodying it. Oddly enough my lama prefers the BOTA deck and has all the books about it, but isn’t a member of the BOTA. I on the other hand was a member, but don’t have all the books, so we balanced out. The meaning of the High Priestess is also drawn from Case’s understanding of her.
-=- Begin by performing some basic mindfulness meditation to clear, slow, and focus your thoughts and ready yourself for the visualization. See everything in the room melt into light and fade away.
From empty space a Gimel appears, deep blue in colour, it radiates outwards becoming a tranquil ocean.
From the sound GAM appears a yellow square resting motionless on the surface of the ocean. From the sound MAL a grey cube arises in the centre of the square. And from a GAL appears two pillars on either side, one white and one black each topped with a lotus sculpture. Between them drapes a curtain decorated with pomegranate fruits and leaves.
Above the cube rests your consciousness in the form of a Gimel, deep blue in colour. From it light shines out, carrying with it a calming wisdom to all sentient beings. The light is drawn in again, and the Gimel, you, become the High Priestess sitting on the cube. Behind you stretches the curtain, to your left is the white pillar, and to the right is the black pillar and you rest between them as a point of balance. You wear an inner robe of pure white, over which appears a deep blue cloak resting on your shoulders and flowing down past your feet, transforming into water, connecting you to the ocean. You are the ocean, and the ocean is you, you are but a ripple on the surface. In your right hand rests a rolled up scroll marked with the word TORA, the Law, and your left hand rests peacefully in your lap. A white veil hangs from the sides of your head, which is topped by a silver crown in the shape of two horns with a sphere resting between them.
On the centre of your chest appears an equal-armed cross, glowing with the radiant white light of a full moon, and at its center appears another blue Gimel. Around the Gimel see three blue spheres of light representing the syllables of her mantra LAM LAG MAG. Repeat her mantra and let it bring about a state of equipoise and stabilize the image. LAM LAG MAG.
These lights shine out of the Gimel activating the cross, which then bathes the ocean in the cold white of a full moon. The light dispels confusion, forgetfulness, and ignorance, leaving the surface of the ocean perfectly calm and clear to the depths. In turn the ocean reflects the light out into the Cosmos clearing away the confusion, forgetfulness, and ignorance of all sentient beings, illuminating them and guiding them back to their personal wisdom, to the store house of knowledge in their unconsciousness.
The light is drawn in again, dissolving the ocean as it goes. The ocean dissolves into the yellow square. The curtain behind you dissolves into the pillars, which in turn dissolve into yellow square. The square dissolves up into the cube upon which you sit, which in turn dissolves into the water flowing from your robes. The scroll and the crown melt into light and pour into you, your entire being glows with their light and then melts into the moon white cross on your chest. The cross dissolves into the blue Gimel at its heart which glows with the light of the ocean and the moon. Finally the Gimel dissolves into Nothingness.
Rest in meditation until your thoughts naturally emerge.
Last time I talked about the purpose of Taking Refuge, and the Triple Gem, now I want to go a bit farther. In Vajrayana Buddhism Refuge often includes four, or six figures, rather than the three I introduced last time. No matter what happens those three will always be present, but because Vajrayana Buddhism is a lineage-focused initiation tradition you will often Take Refuge in your personal guru, your teacher. Now if you don’t have a teacher, or don’t feel that your teacher is worthy of Refuge (admittedly a dicey idea in Vajrayana, usually it’s better to understand they are inherently Enlightened and that is the part you Take Refuge in) you can use one of the major historical gurus, such as Padmasambhava or Lama Tsongkapa, I’ve also seen it suggested people use Vajradhara or Kuntuzangpo in this position, but have not been told that through my lineage. In Vajrayana the guru is of the utmost importance, in fact it’s often said that your guru is more important than the Buddha, because it is your guru who introduces you to Buddhism, without the guru you couldn’t encounter the Buddha. If you’re Taking Refuge and including the guru you just Take Refuge in them first, so it becomes “I Take Refuge in the Guru, the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha.”
Now the more complicated Refuge involves six figures, the Triple Gem, and the Triple Root. The Triple Gem is the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha, as covered before. The Triple Root is the Lama/Guru, the Yidam, and the Dakinis. Your lama or guru is the teacher who initiates you and guides your practice. Your Yidam is your personal meditation tutelary deity. The Dakinis are…complicated, but they’re fierce female spirits who help bring on enlightenment, perhaps by any means necessary. When Refuge includes all six it tends to be broken into two parts, Gem then Root. “I Take Refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma, the Sangha, the Lama, the Yidam, and the Dakinis.”
If you’re using Refuge in another system your guru, would obviously be your teacher, or a great teacher of your tradition, again much like the Buddha last time, you can visual an idealized teacher rather than a specific one. For the Yidam think about your practice, if you’re an occultist you might have a Patron/Matron deity of some sort, that’s the person you’d use as the Yidam to Refuge. Now if your personal deity is also the transcendent deity you use as a Buddha (as mentioned last post) that’s fine, see them in their different forms. Kali as Yidam could be the Wrathful Mother dancing on Shiva, while Kali as Buddha is the Force and Fabric that makes up the Universe and the Fire on the Edge of Time. For Dakinis you can use helpful and sacred spirits. While I’m not majorly found of the comparison sometimes the easiest way to explain Dakinis is to say “Buddhist Angels,” it’s not right, but it’s close enough that you get an idea. So picture here the angels or messengers or sacred helper spirits of your Path.
The Three Roots and Three Gems are reflections of each other. You can parallel the Buddha and the Lama, they’re both the teacher and guide. You can parallel the Dharma and the Yidam, the Yidam is your main practice, and Dharma is your practice, the Yidam is the focus of your teachings. Lastly the Sangha and the Dakinis are paralleled; they’re the community that is working on supporting you and uplifting you to Enlightenment.
You would be the central blue figure on this Tree
Now in Varjayana it’s taught that when you Take Refuge you visualize/generate a Refuge Tree. This is a visual representation of the Three Roots and Three Gems. Depending on the practice, and the sect and tradition they’re laid out in different ways, but they’ll always contain the Buddha, and Lamas or the lineage, a variety of Yidams, generally a text is hidden in the image (the Dharma), and then dakinis, dharma protectors and people. You visualize this in front of you when you Take Refuge.
My lama has taught me to do it differently, instead of projecting the Tree in front of yourself you build it around yourself, so rather than having the Tree as something separate you’re making yourself a part of it, in fact, you are the Tree itself. I really like this method, Vajrayana practices take the external work of other systems and make it internal, instead of summoning a figure outside of yourself, you Become them, so why should the Tree be different? I also like it because many traditions around the world have something where you connect yourself to the Tree of the World, the Axis Mundi, and this slight change makes a Buddhist version of just that, with you as the Axis.
I’ll give a simplified English version of the practice first, and include the Tibetan after. I’ve never done it in English so I have to think through it as I go. Sitting in a meditative posture know that you are the Centre of Reality, the World as you know it revolves around you.
With your right hand in the position of preparing to snap touch the Crown of your head. “To the glorious Lama I go for Refuge.” As you say this move your hand so it is pointing upwards visualizing the lama springing from your head into the space above you. When you say “Refuge” snap your fingers and see that snap Creating the image of the guru, making it solid and real, not just your imagination.
With your right hand in the position of preparing to snap touch your Third Eye. “To the glorious mandala of the Yidam I go for Refuge.” As you say this move your hand so it is pointing forward a foot from your face visualizing the Yidam springing from your Third Eye and standing in front of you. Again when you say “Refuge” snap your finger and solidify the image.
With your hand in the preparing to snap position touch your right temple. “To the Buddha I go for Refuge.” As you say this move your hand so it is pointing to the right while seeing the image of the Buddha leaving your temple to float off to your right, again when you say “Refuge” snap your finger and make the Buddha real.
With your hand in the snap position touch the back of your head, that bump on the other side of your skull from your eyes. “To all the sacred Dharma I go for Refuge.” Saying this move your hand to point backwards seeing a collection of Holy Texts flowing from your skull and piling up to become a solid foundation you can lean against. Again with saying “Refuge” snap to make it solid.
Touch your left temple in the same hand position. “To the great Sangha I go for Refuge” Saying this move your hand out to point to the left, seeing a collection of Bodhisattvas springing from your left temple to stand to your left, and again while saying “Refuge” snap to make the image solid.
With your hand in the position of preparing to snap, with your pointer finger pointing up say the following while moving your hand in a clockwise circle in front of your body, so that when you finish your hand is back where it started. “To all the Dakinis, Guardians, and Dharma Protectors I go for Refuge.” As you’re saying this and moving your hand see a collection of Dakinis, and Guardian figures leaving your heart to stand in a circle around you, to protect you, and your efforts, then when you say “Refuge” snap and make them solid.
This entire process should be done three times, when you get used to it the entire thing can take 45 seconds, though obviously it can take more depending on how much you want to put into it.
Take a moment to reaffirm the presence of all of them, I personally like to reconnect to all of them, so I see ethereal threads flowing from each of them back to the place that they emerged from. Don’t worry about holding the image the entire time you’re practicing, you’re just to make them clear and solid at the beginning to connect with the current, also these are not figures you banish, just leave them be and they will fade back into Emptiness and your Mind.
-=-=-=-=-=-
This is the Tibetan, the phrasing is a bit more complex. You’d do it the same way, except “Chio” is when you would snap each time.
Palden Lama Dampa Namla Chap Sou Chio
Yidam Chilkor Gyi Lhatsog Namla Chap Sou Chio
Sangye Chomdende Namla Chap Sou Chio
Dampe Cho Namla Chap Sou Chio
Phape Gendun Namla Chap Sou Chio
Pawo Kandro Cho Kyong Srungme Tsog Yeshe Khi Chyen Dang Denpa Namla Chap Sou Chio
Taking Refuge is probably one of the most common Buddhist practices there is. Arguably it should be the most common practice, but we all know not everyone lives by the book. I say it should be the most common because it is done before pretty much everything in Buddhism. Doing a meditation, Take Refuge first, going to give offerings, Take Refuge first, going to perform a ritual, Take Refuge first, going to do Buddhist mantras in calligraphy, Take Refuge first. So what is Taking Refuge? On the simplest level if is a recitation of a simple phrase/idea, there are hundreds of variations, one of the most basic is “I go for Refuge in the Triple Gem” but more clearly, listing the Gems it would be “I go for refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha.” Who the Buddha is should be somewhat obvious, Dharma refers to the teachings of the Buddha (simplistically), and the Sangha refers to the spiritual community, to the temple, to other Buddhists. But why Refuge?
Well, Refuge means a couple of things; first and foremost we could understand it as aligning yourself with the Buddhist current. Just as many other traditions have some form of opening prayer or such that refocuses the person on the tradition, this is what Refuge is, you say this is what I am doing, this is the Path, and I am connecting myself to it. “This is the teacher, this is the teaching, this is the tradition, I am a part of it.”
Along with the alignment, it is a request for help, support, and encouragement, either from the figures and forces involved or the current itself. “I ask for assistance from the Buddha, I ask for assistance from the Dharma, I ask for assistance from the Sangha, I am on the Path and seek aid.”
Tied to the notion alignment, it’s also a recognition, in some forms of Buddhism it’s understood that we’re inherently Pure and Interdependent, and the act of becoming Enlightened is recognizing and revealing that, so Refuge is a reminder in that case. “I am Buddha, I am Dharma, I am Sangha, I am Primordially Pure.”
It’s also a declaration of intent. “I aspire to become like the Buddha, I aspire to follow the Dharma, I aspire to support the Sangha, I will become Enlightened.”
While not discussed nearly as much, it’s also a form of protective magick. When you reconnect to the Purity, or Align yourself with a tradition, you tap into the strength of it, and that gives you a form of protection and authority. That is why in chöd (a specific school of practice within Vajrayana Buddhism) originally you did not go for Refuge, because the point of the practice was to be open and be willing to give up your attachment to everything, and asking for protection is an attachment to the status quo in that ritual context. (Sometime into the 14th century or so it looks like Refuge became part of chöd as it was incorporated into the monastic scene more)
Now just because Taking Refuge is a Buddhist practice, doesn’t mean it isn’t something that could be used by someone of another tradition. The first two things that come to mind are Sam Webster’s Tantric Thelema, where he gives ways of giving Refuge that are more “generic” and more Thelemic, as well as the magickal order I owe a lot of my initial training too, for we had Refuge inspired by Buddhism, but not in a strictly Buddhist way.
Our Refuge was more inspired by Crowley’s understanding of Refuge back when he was a Buddhist, before receiving the Liber AL vel Legis. In 1903 he wrote Science and Buddhism and explained Refuge as such:
I take my refuge in the Buddha. That there was once a man who found the Way is my encouragement.
I take my refuge in the Dhamma. The Law under-lying phenomena and its unchanging certainty; the Law given by the Buddha to show us the Way, the inevitable tendency to Persistence in Motion or Rest—and
Persistence, even in Motion, negates change in consciousness—these observed orders of fact are our bases.
I take my refuge in the Sangha. These are not isolated efforts on my part; although in one sense isolation is eternally perfect and can never be overcome, in another sense associates are possible and desirable.
For us we took Refuge in the Three Spheres, which in this case translated as the teacher, reality, and community, essentially the same as Buddhism, but without Buddha directly. The teacher was any great sage, any gnostic saint, any wise person who is Enlightened (however your tradition understands that), so it could be Buddha, it could be Jesus or St. Francis, it could be Crowley, or Lao Tzu. Whoever saw the Beauty Beyond could be the teacher, we also believed in an idealized teacher, not necessarily a real or objective person, but a symbolic person, Wisdom made Manifest. For Dharma, we focused less on direct teachings, and more Reality itself, which is actually how Refuge is understood occasionally in Tantra. Like Crowley it was the “Law under-lying phenomena,” the Universe works a certain way, and we took Refuge in that, not to fight or impose a misguided understanding, but accept Reality. Lastly the community, this was our order, but it was also any person in the current of wisdom and enlightenment, anyone who is trying to Become, this can be the great sages of the past, but the ones who didn’t quite make it. John Dee for instance, a brilliant man, but I might argue not on the same spiritual level as someone like Lao Tzu. (For a completely mixed cultural example)
So in reality you can Take Refuge regardless of tradition, you just need to figure out who and what the Three Jewels would be for you. Also, when you look at what Refuge is for, it’s not a bad little ritual to include as a way of centring and connecting to tradition or current before you begin your work.
Who is the enlightened teacher that inspires you? This can be a real person, a founder of your tradition if they’re understood to be enlightened, or it could be a god within the tradition. I recommend it not be a person you know physically, unless they’re recognized as Enlightened. Earthly personal teachers, are people too, and flawed, and you don’t want to take Refuge in someone like that. (Though more on that idea later)
What are the teachings of the tradition? Do you have a set of rules to obey that you dedicate yourself to, or do you dedicate yourself to the Laws of the Cosmos?
Who is the community? The saints, the protectors, those who work with you, and walk with you? Physical people, deceased people, spirits and angels.
Not sure if I’d Take Refuge or not from him.
While a strict Buddhist might argue against Taking Refuge in a god, that is one way to do it. (Arguably even within Buddhism it depends on what type of god, as there are gods in Samsara, reality as we understand it, and gods who are Enlightened, the latter being acceptable sources of Refuge.) If you’re considering Taking Refuge in a god, consider a few things, like enlightenment and scope. With the model of Taking Refuge the Object of Refuge can never take you beyond themselves, so if you use a deity in this way they are the best you can aspire to. Now, becoming a god sounds pretty sweet (*Insert a lazy Koetting joke here?*), but think about the mythologies, some gods are almost always wise and noble, Jesus and Krishna, other gods can be petty and foolish, Zeus and Set, and whomever you Take Refuge in, you work towards. Along with that is the idea of scope, some gods are small in scope and scale, and that isn’t a judgment against them, but ideally when going for Refuge you want to approach a deity who is transcendent, and many gods are both. In the Greek tradition Hekate is both a personal deity, and in some forms a transcendent deity, in some forms of Hinduism Kali is both personal and transcendent underlying all reality. Those transcendent deities are the best focus for this.
Some quick examples I have come across are in my training and work with the order:
I go for Refuge in Kali
I go for Refuge in Dharma and Karma
I go for Refuge in all who are Returning
I go for Refuge in Nut
I go for Refuge in Ma’at
I go for Refuge in the Priesthood
I go for Refuge in Our Lady of Darkness
I go for Refuge in the Nameless Path
I go for Refuge in the Mighty Dead
The advantage of using a system where you have “simplified” the naming conventions is it allows a group to work together, without conflict. So if everyone says Teacher, Teaching, Community, they can do it together, but have their own understanding of it. (The group I was in phrased it as Sun, Pluto, and Moon)
So you can see how people have intelligently (we hope) replaced the Triple Gem with appropriate equivalent for their system. Admittedly this only works with some of the simpler understandings of Refuge, to take Refuge Vows for instance is a big thing, and this is nothing like it.
Whelp, this post was actually supposed to be about how my specific Buddhist lineage does Refuge a bit differently, but the explanation of Refuge became its own post. Join me later this week when I expand on Refuge beyond Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha, and talk about how to invoke and evoke them.
Though I would be curious who and what others make Take Refuge in? If folks want to share I’d be interested in hearing.
So this is part two of my post about sponsoring Buddhist rituals. While I covered a lot of this simply in the last post I wanted to expand it more now, as some people grasp it, and others find it unusual.
In the Western world, or perhaps more properly with Western Buddhists there is a change in how Buddhism is understood and performed, by the laity and clergy and everything in between. Part of that is the lack of sponsored rituals. In Buddhist countries, and with people from Buddhist cultures (whether they themselves are Buddhist doesn’t matter) the act of sponsoring rituals is very common. People may sponsor them altruistically or purposefully. Meaning someone may just go to a temple, a hermitage, or contact a local lama, ngakpa, priest, or authorized practitioner and give them a donation to support their ability to do rituals. (I include priest because as this is about the cultures rather than religion there is a lot of overlap with Buddhism and non-Buddhist traditions)
In fact there are many stories about practitioners living off in the wildness, locked in a cave or something like that, and people would come by and just leave them food so they could practice. No communication, no request, they merely did it to help themselves, and to accumulate merit.
Or people can go and give a donation and ask that a ritual for a specific broad goal is done for them, maybe they have a wedding coming up so they sponsor a Medicine Buddha ritual in order to help assure they’ll be healthy for the wedding. Even more direct they may go and sponsor rituals for a specific goal, maybe they’re ill with something and would like Medicine Buddha rituals performed for and on them. It’s so much a part of the system that sometimes in the mo dice divinations the advice people are given is to sponsor certain rituals. There are lots of ways and reasons that people sponsor rituals, and the recitation of sutras (holy texts), but in the West, we don’t see that.
Why? There is no clear answer but I have ideas, my lama has ideas, I’ve seen it discussed before. Part of it is the ideal of being self-sufficient: you are you, you don’t need handouts, you don’t need support, and you don’t need monks doing rituals for you, you can handle it.
The latter point I see playing out more with occultists today, overall it looks like more people want to be generalists than specialists, and there are advantages both ways, but I see a lot of people who don’t want help, assistance, or training in a certain area cause they believe they can (or should be able to) handle it. “I don’t need someone to read my future, I have a tarot deck.” “I don’t need help contacting this spirit, I’m my own priest/ess.” While I advocate being well rounded magickally (and in generally) assuming that you’re just as good at healing, divination, banishing, wealth magick, house cleansing, love magick, and whatever is probably a folly. For various reasons, personality, magickal tradition, training, karma, dumb luck, we all seem to have areas we are better at, and others where we’re not so hot. How many famous/competent mages through history used some form of seer? There is nothing wrong with admitting you’re good at one thing, but need help at another, but for some reason the modern Western world wants use to think we can be, or are, experts at everything.
Another potential cause is the demystification of Buddhism in the west, the idea that meditation is all about training the mind and there isn’t really anything spiritual/magickal going on, which maybe makes sense with Theravada, but falls apart with Mahayana and Vajrayana Buddhism. So if Buddhism is all psychological there is no point in sponsoring rituals cause it won’t help you. Of course if you don’t believe there is anything magickal going on in Buddhism you haven’t looked deep enough.
Part of it is just the unfamiliarity of it in a Christian-heritage culture. Sure if you have a minister officiate a wedding or funeral you are expected to pay them or donate to the Church, but most Christian faiths don’t offer specific services/rituals around healing, or dying, or wealth, or whatever. So people might just be unused to the idea of being able to ask for spiritual/magickal help in these regards. Who knows, there are lots of reasons why it isn’t done, and there are lots of reasons why it should be done.
First off a reason why it should be done is that from a Buddhist perspective community is central “I take refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma (the teachings), and the Sangha (the community).” The sponsorship is a way of building and supporting that community, keeping the clergy aware of what is going on with the people, it ties everyone together.
It also helps with the development of those performing the rituals. Instead of vague “for the benefit of all sentient beings” they can put a face/name/identity to someone they’re helping, especially when performing rituals with specific focuses. It also helps in the sense that by performing rituals the monks are working towards their goal of enlightenment and developing compassion. A major, and early, purpose of the donations and sponsorships was to free up the time of the monk by providing them with a meal so they could focus on their dharma practice.
It also benefits the person sponsoring in several ways. First off the ritual is done on their behalf, they sponsored it, so the merit accumulated is their merit. To oversimplify matters, the “good karma” created from the ritual is theirs. This can help generally, or specifically, it can “grease the wheels” for them or be targeted to deal with an issue. When a ritual is sponsored in a general sense it isn’t performed on/for the person, but their behalf, but none the less the merit is connected to the purpose of the ritual. So if you sponsor a healing ritual the merit and blessing you receive is connected to health. Obviously then when a ritual is performed on/for a person, then it deals with their issue specifically, so not just the blessing/merit, but a focused magickal working on helping out. Those are just the major reasons I can think of.
That ramble being done, I’ve been authorized to perform rituals in this manner for a while now and I decided to open it up beyond the local community. Now traditionally a sponsorship was in the form of meals, clothing, religious items (e.g. incense), or money for the temple. Now my local sangha tends to support me in this way via meals, I perform rituals, they buy me delicious Greek fries (cause my lama always goes to a Greek restaurant after our early morning meditation sessions). The internet makes it more complicated, so we settled on $5 as the rough cost of meal when eating out somewhere simple. I might expand this later with rituals involving substitutes, but that’s a lot more awkward to handle online, involves mailing stuff, but who knows, if people find the service useful (and so far I’ve had two people make use of the sponsorships, and two who I’m just finishing up some discussion with around it before starting) I might include that. I list on the etsy page what I’m authorized to do. (Actually, I’m authorized to perform other rituals, but they’re more abstract and harder to explain and not likely to be requested.) So if you’re curious go check that out.
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